


day 28: if we ever leave a legacy

by halfwheeze



Series: thirty ways to wreck a train [28]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 14:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14239215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfwheeze/pseuds/halfwheeze
Summary: in which ryan has nightmares and shane wears leather jackets.





	day 28: if we ever leave a legacy

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is day twenty-eight of a 30-day series I'm trying out! I can't say that I'll be fantastic at it, but I'm gonna try!
> 
> day twenty-eight is power of two! hope you enjoy!
> 
> title is from the indigo girls song power of two!

It’s not strange, for Ryan to have nightmares. He wakes up in the middle of the night in shakes, and it’s only a moment before Shane is out of his own bed and getting into bed with him, cradling him against his chest. They’ve shared a bedroom for the past two years after all, money getting tight when less and less people started coming to Shane’s band’s gigs, and it getting harder and harder for Ryan to hold down a job. If he didn’t follow Shane all over the place for his shows, Ryan could probably hold it together better, but Shane can’t find it in him to tell Ryan to stay home. Maybe a familiar place would stop his nightmares, or maybe he would sleep even worse if Shane left him alone; it’s the second risk that has Shane helping pack Ryan’s shit every time they need to relocate. He doesn’t know what keeps Ryan up at night, has never asked properly, waiting for Ryan to tell him if he wants. He figures that everybody has a song they don’t sing anymore, a chapter they don’t think they can read aloud. He doesn’t wanna hear Ryan’s if he doesn’t wanna tell it. 

“Hey, Ry, you’re okay, little guy. Come back to me,” Shane whispers tonight, holding Ryan close and running his fingers through his hair. The familiarity of the action seems to sooth Ryan, who snuggles in against him and goes lax all over again; this is a good night. The best nights, Ryan doesn’t have nightmares at all, staying asleep while Shane keeps vigil over him out of habit. If no movement of dreams occurs by two am, it’s safe, and Shane goes to sleep, calm in the idea that Ryan will be free of nightmares tonight. Good nights are like right now, when Ryan doesn’t wake from his nightmares, and just goes back into peace so soon as Shane lays next to him. There are bad nights, during which Ryan wakes but knows where he is, who is in bed with him, that he’s safe. The worst nights are night in which Ryan’s eyes open but he surely isn’t free of his dream, whispering about demons and fathers and best friends who leave him. Shane has to fight him into wakefulness on those nights; they don’t help Shane’s sleep much either. 

The next day, they act as if nothing has happened, but that’s pretty much par for the course as well, silence moving to regular joking moving to laughter, the two of them coming back into themselves. When he’s not picking up odd jobs near whatever shitty motel or hotel they’ve shut themselves up at for the night, Ryan does the shows books and makes sure the entire band takes care of themselves like normal human beings. That’s what he’s doing today, though Shane doesn’t know until Ryan is climbing into the front seat with him, balancing what Shane imagines is their itinerary on his lap. He should have known that Ryan is with him today, even if he’s given one clue: Ryan is wearing Shane’s oldest leather jacket, littered with patches and sewn in guitar picks that Shane caught when he used to go to other people’s concerts. Now, he barely has time between his own. 

“Annie asked up to pick her up new drumsticks, Adam needs replacement strings, and Ashly wants a coffee, so we have at least two stops to make before we head to the garage,” Ryan explains, drumming his thumbs on the clipboard in his lap. The  _ garage  _ is what Ryan has taken to calling the place where they’re practicing in this little town, mostly because it used to quite literally be a mechanic’s garage before he retired. Adam, at the very least, seems to appreciate the rustic vibe, which makes Shane appreciate it a little. At Ryan’s words, Shane hums and takes a turn towards the one music shop in the area, and just parks the car once he’s there. Ryan is better at running the errands for the other members of the band; he remembers preferences and brands that Shane forgets easily. He likes running errands with Ryan though, so he grins as he waits for the other man to come back to the van, tension running out of his shoulders. 

The coffee run takes a little longer simply by virtue of Shane having to get out of the car; they don’t have a Starbucks with a drive through in this place, so they have to use a little Mom and Pop coffee shop on Third. They make a bangin’ Americano though, so Shane orders one while Ryan is in the bathroom, also catching the tab for Ashly and Ryan’s orders. While he has no particular feelings about buying Ashly coffee (as long as it’s in the band, it’s normal for money to come and go around), buying coffee for Ryan gives him warm and fuzzies. He’s probably supposed to be harder on the inside than getting warm feelings about buying things for Ryan, with his leather jackets and sunglasses and dark clothing, but he’s not. He’s had a crush on Ryan since they were nineteen and twenty-three - it shouldn’t matter that they’re twenty-three and twenty-seven now. 

“Thanks, babe,” Ryan says once he’s out of the bathroom and is he taking his drink from Shane’s hand, leaning up to press a kiss to Shane’s cheek. Shane feels himself stop working as a program for a moment, pausing in all action before rebooting. That was a comfortable action, and Ryan doesn’t look like he just made a mistake, so Shane must have missed something somewhere. So they’re together. How long have they been together? Is there an anniversary he’s missing? When he finally thinks to look at Ryan again, Ryan just looks amused, a little fond as he looks up at Shane. Ryan takes Shane and Ashly’s coffees both out of his hands and puts them on the table his own coffee is on, using both hands to pull Shane down to his level. There’s a kiss pressed to Shane’s lips before he can really comprehend what’s going on, and he’s not at all proud of the noise he makes, but not ashamed either. When Ryan pulls away, it’s with a smile. 

“You’re freaking out,” Ryan informs him, as if Shane doesn’t know what’s going on in his own head as much as he doesn’t know what’s going on between the two of them. “This isn’t like… something we’ve done before. I kissed your cheek because I wanted to and I kissed you because I wanted to. I know you take care of me when I have nightmares, and I feel safe around you, which is funny, because you  _ terrify  _ me. But, I figure, if I can do this with anyone, it’s going to be you. I figure we can do anything together,” Ryan finishes, holding onto the lapels of Shane’s jacket to keep his attention. Shane can’t resists, so he leans forward and places a kiss to the skin beneath Ryan’s temple, holding himself there for a moment of hesitation, a moment of lingering. 

“Yeah, okay. You’re the worst for doing this in a coffee shop, but we can do this. What’s the date? We need an anniversary of the worst confession timing in the history of romance,” he says against Ryan’s temple. He revels in the way Ryan hits him in the shoulder, laughing as he pushes him off. 

We can do this, Shane thinks, and he really believes it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a prompt @halfwheeze on tumblr, and I'll get to it when I can!
> 
> i kinda wanna do more of this au? lemme know if i should


End file.
